2004-09-07 - 3:14 p.m.

yoo hoo!

i am in a mixed mood today.

work is pissing me off to no end: my assistant left a message for me at one this morning saying, "hi, it's one AM and i'm driving back from niagara falls. don't expect me tomorrow." well OK. and now we are stuck with no assistants.

the weekend was fun. there were some rough spots with regards to me forgetting that not everyone there was as close to each other as i was to them. poink. what a pain. book wide open, frankly, is the way to live life. no point, really, in playing your cards close to your chest. just makes life harder for yourself.

ahhh. no sense, really, in getting all pissy about it.

better to just let it go.

we got to maine late on thursday evening and the next few days seemed to all run into one another. i think there will be some nice photographs that i took with jim's swanky camera early friday morning; it was quite lovely to walk down to the lake at 6:30 and see all of the spiderwebs spun up on the tall grass. it's nice to work through a high-quality camera again. i think i will really have to invest in one myself.

i've been thinking about my future game plan. you know, where i want to be in a few years, so on and so forth. i have but one solid answer, and that is that i want to be writing.

books, not articles. essays, not journalism.

kate's amy, a children's book agent, had some very good thoughts on nobody, and i got some very good feedback from her. she is still saying that "the book needs work," but also noted that she was also supportive of my desire to take the book straight to an editor and see what insight they have.

because truthfully, i just want to get the thing off my desk in a yes-we'll-take-it-but-make-these-changes-and-here's-an-editor-to-work-with-you way. it's a little depressing to note, but i have my next few years--as well as the past four years--bound up in this thing, and it's time to see it off properly.

a girl from my writers' group has given notice at her job. bang, just like that.

so many people seem to be making brave changes around me. it is one thing to applaud it, though; another to do it.

i suppose it's not that i don't have enough socked away to actually do it; it's that i am needy. i like to take care of myself. and while that's not a horrible thing, it certainly does hinder one in the way of making scary irrevocable decisions.

because you know, once i leave, there's no turning back. i won't ever take another job in this vein ever again.

so maybe i'll take the advice of my financial advisor and hang out here until things get going.

although, how long have i been saying *that*?

thirty in 8 days. yeehaw!

oh and PS. you can click on the notify link below to be notified, you know, when i update. 'cause i don't always do it. everyday, ya know. 'cause i'm lazy.

 

 

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